Weampires and Vamslys
by SteelStar
Summary: In which Fred and George discover Twilight.


I fully acknowledge that not all Twilight fans are like this. I have quite a few friends that are Twilight fans, and they're all cool. I just wrote it for fun, not to insult anyone.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter series (as much as I wish that I did), nor do I own the Twilight series (thankfully).

* * *

"Twilight? What's…" The youngest of the Weasley children questioned before being cut off.

"It's a book"

"About this vampire"

"Who falls in love with this human girl"

"Who's best friends with this werewolf"

"Who hates the vampire"

"Who sparkles!" Fred and George shoved the book into their younger sister's arms.

It all started about a week ago, right before moving into Grimmauld Place, when the twins had paid a visit to the muggle town just a few miles away from their house. It had been as sunny and beautiful a day as it could possibly have been. The birds were singing, the gnomes were yelling and their mom was on the lookout for a slacker to give chores to. So, naturally, they decided the best course of action for their freedom was to through on some old muggle clothes and get away for a while. They apperated to the far edge of the Lovegood's property, which was just barely hidden from the town by a hill and some spells, and set off from there. They had only been hanging around for about an hour, laughing at the inventions necessary for non-magical people to live being shown off in the windows, when they noticed a crowd surrounding the bookstore. In any world, magic or no, they knew it was unusual for any bookstore to be as populated as this one was. Near the actually building seemed less like a crowd and more like a mosh pit, which dwindled down to a more organized line the farther away it was. Eager to spend as long as they could away from their nagging mother and muggle-obsessed father; they let their curiosity take hold and approached.

The closer they got, they noticed two things. One: the crowd was made up of teenage girls. Two: They were all wearing similar tee-shirts supporting pictures of the same girl and two boys. About 5 yards away, Fred stopped in his tracks.

"Is that…" He began in amazement

"Cedric?" His brother finished for him. "It can't be! But it looks just like him!"

"Well we could be wrong." Fred reasoned. "I don't remember him being quite so ugly."

They scanned the line of people until a particular group that looked somewhat friendly popped out at them. There were about five girls, all wearing the same exact "Cedric-but-not-Cedric" tee-shirt, talking and laughing at 100 miles per hour. They walked a bit closer before poking one of them on the shoulder.

"Pardon me, but would mind telling us who the heck is on your shirt?" George asked politely. The giggling ceased immediately and they soon found many makeup-ed eyes staring at them in amazement. It was quite unnerving (they seemed to take their lack of knowledge toward the shirts as a personal insult), but the two were determined to receive an answer. After an awkward second or two they finally got something… remotely resembling one.

"Who?" A girl wearing heavy purple eye shadow finally responded "Him? You honestly don't know? What, have you been living under a rock for the last two years?" She let out a squeal at her own "joke" before swooning "That's _Edward Cullen_. He's a _vampire"_ The twins exchanged glances. They didn't look like any vampire they had ever heard (or read) of.

"And that's _Jacob_! He's a werewolf." One of her friends added, following her statement with a sigh as overly dramatic and fake as her dyed black hair.

"And she's Bella" a third girl added, as though it was but an afterthought. They then proceeded to tell of a fandom called "Twilight" and sing its praises. "The last book, Breaking Dawn, is coming out tomorrow!" The group yelled, explaining the crowd.

"You've honestly never heard of it?" The second girl asked them while giving them a look that could have degnomed a garden all on its own. "It's the most popular thing since… since…"

"Since texting!" Another girl filled in the blank. What texting was, the two wizards had no idea, but it must have been big, seeing how the group nodded in fierce agreement. They made a mental note to mention it to dad, and chose not to push the topic.

"Er… yeah." George stuttered under their gaze. "I think we may have heard of this… er… Twilight before…. Actually."

"Just didn't recognized it at first, is all." Fred added to his brother's lie, nervously taking a step back. "See you" And they both took off, leaving the group to gush amongst themselves.

"Muggles are crazy." George stated, once far enough away.

A few hours later the sun had begun to dip below the horizon, painting the sky red. All the stores were closing, save for one…

"What say you, brother of mine?" George turned to the other. "Home to face the dragon, or bookstore to face the nargles?"

Fred made a face. "Not a pleasant choice in sight, eh? I vote nargles; the Lovegoods aren't too far if we need any help with them anyway…"

They soon found themselves standing in front of the same bookstore as earlier. The outside was now abandoned, but they could still see a lot of movement through the glass doors. They walked in and their eyes were immediately assaulted by a rather ugly set of wannabe emo book covers. They began looking for something else to look at (they even thought that they saw a few books with the name of the boy-who-lived on them…), but were soon attacked by a pair of bubbly girls, around their age.

"Ohmygosh! AreyougettingTwilight? It'ssooooooogoood, youhavetogetit! Ohmygosh! Getit!" One said in about two seconds before grabbing her friend by the arm and darting off. The twins exchanged glanced, shrugged, then filled their arms with the four annoyingly thick novels before heading towards checkout.

That night, after a long lecture from their mom, they read. And read. And read some more. The world had gained two more twitards.

* * *

I may or may not write another chapter.

I forsee myself recieving many flames for writing this.


End file.
